This is like my WORST birthday ever.

I'm XJie, 14 years old! hahaha! I'm NOT HAPPY. First of all is that WHY is ALVIN LAI with Ella and WHY is she gonna marry him?! GOSH! I'm gonna die! Alvin is titled a JERK, okay? Like--- When I saw Chun's post in his blog, he's giving a feeler for me. About Ella? He just gave me vibes. It's like I saw her name on my mind once I saw his CNY post at CZ. I'm very shattered and heartbroken. It's stupid but true. I can see sadness in his eyes. Even though he looks happy.

Ella's weibo account RUINED my whole birthday. Seeing her with a jerk... It's making me feel like... she wants to be degraded. Alvin as her husband... I can't imagine. But once Ella had been thrown away by Alvin, I'M GONNA KILL HIM WITH MY OWN BARE HANDS. SERIOUSLY. Alvin and Ella... I don't expect it to be them. Why? Ella and him are so like... And SINCE WHEN did Ella say about Alvin, I also want them to SPILL a videotaped / recorded video of Alvin proposing to her.-- I'm sorry but even if Ella gets married in front of me, I won't believe a thing! Why? Ella doesn't deserve him. Not even a bit of him! I always feel like Alvin only likes Ella because she's sexy and all. And don't he dare hurt Ella! I'm giving my warning already. My CE heart is already bleeding. Don't make me angrier. Alvin, if you only want Ella's body, Go get someone who kinda looks like her and think of her as Ella! Not hurt Ella because you only want a girl like her or her body only also, not abuse her kindness. (Actually, I shipped CE because of the feel, not the pictures. And I don’t feel anything in this two.) So what if Alvin and Ella have a lot of cute, sexy, whatever lovey- dovey pictures? So what if you're intimate together? As long as peple don't have feel in the both of you, you'll look like nothing to anyone. Actually, if I compare MinHua or MikElla with them, I think that... At least there's a feel between the two. I just don't find the idea of Alvin and Ella's relationship. They look like only good friends to me. When I saw Alvin and Ella's picture on her weibo, declaring her to be wed, I'm like.-- Okay, they're getting wed?! I know. I'm bitter about this Ella issue. -- Right now, I feel like she's the antagonist in this show. -- Like she's hurting a lot of people.

I won't get shocked also if Chun won't attend her wedding. I'll get shocked if he does! -- I mean, when he congratulated her, there is bitterness on his eyes. It's like he can't believe it. But anyways, she shared a lot of happy days with him and I wish that even though they're apart, they'll still cherish the times that they're together. It's kinda stupid but I feel more love in CE than in Alvin and Ella. But right now, I'm wanting to hug Chun, console him and share all my sorrows with him, cry with him and try moving on with him. That's life. At times, gives you what you want and at times, unfair. We just have to go on with the flow.

But as Ella's fan, I'll also need to stop blocking her way and give her blessings. Even though I hate saying this, I really have to. But why in this time that I'm head over heels with CE?! Anyways, I'm just a fangirl. I don't have the right to forbid Ella and Alvin being wed. Truly, When I heard it this morining, I decided not to go to school. Luckily, the school's out and for short, No Classes. I feel like putting all my pain and anger in my dart pins and dart board. I'm heartbroken like this because of CE.Anyhow, I'm not giving up! I'm still the active XJie loving CE. I actually cried a bucket of tears—a RIVER of tears! Even a boyish girl like me crying for a stupid wedding issue.--Unbelievable.

Anyways, I'll continue being their loyal fan/ supporter. Whatever happens. But what I hate is not about Ella-- ALVIN! I read articles about him saying that he's a BIG FAT JERK. Lucky for him, I'm not at Taiwan, or I'll kill him. I'm better with Ella and another man... But not him. I feel uneasy when his name is stated.

I don't know why. But... It hurts me knowing that these fairy tales in my mind won't actually happen. I used to believe in happy endings and happy life. But wei, Nothing is impossible! We just need to be positive. I still wish for a CE ending. There are still a LOT of days coming through. May 5 is long enough for changes. It's only January, DUH! But even though we're sad, Let's smile and believe in miracles. (Or at least.) Let’s pray for CE. Their happiness.



But still, as respect, I wish Ella will not be bitten up as bait for Alvin's flings.—I mean, he shouldn’t use Ella as a shield for all his mistakes.

(Is that what you call for respect? I'm not happy and this is what I want to say! Hey, it's a free country, people!)

Signing off with a broken heart,

XJie

Labels: Alvin Lai Si Xiang, birthday post, ChunElla, Ella Chen, WuChun, WuZun